Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
