You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
God, I missed his penis.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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