to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
