I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize