ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
