i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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