I accidentally had phone sex last night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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