Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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