She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
