She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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