Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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