EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
