I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
