You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
so much tequila, so little girl.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
