Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
