Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
