Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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