belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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