He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
