i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
