YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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