I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
