Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
