Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
