this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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