she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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