my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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