But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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