I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
