Non-Jews are for practice
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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