this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
