What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
