I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
