David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
