I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
