But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
