No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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