Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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