Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
