Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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