she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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