girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
