That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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