Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize