i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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