Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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