I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
