My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
