Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
