How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
