I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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