Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
