Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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