Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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