so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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