I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
