A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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