Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
