you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
