I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Drake has all the answers
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
