and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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