So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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