Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
