Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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