but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
