I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
