shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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