yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
