what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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