I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
