I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
