hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
