True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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